What can I hold you with?
博尔赫 斯
我给你瘦落的街道 绝望的落日 荒郊的月亮 我给你一个久久地望着孤月的人的悲哀
我给你我已死去的祖辈 后人们用大理石祭奠的先魂 我父亲的父亲 阵亡于布宜诺斯艾利斯的边境 两颗子弹射穿了他的胸膛 死的时候蓄着胡子 尸体被士兵们用牛皮裹起 我母亲的祖父 那年才二十四岁 在秘鲁率领三百人冲锋 如今都成了消失的马背上的亡魂
我给你我的书中所能蕴含的一切悟力 以及我生活中所能有的男子气概和幽默 我给你一个从未有过信仰的人的忠诚
我给你我设法保全的我自己的核心 不营字造句,不和梦交易 不被时间、欢乐和逆境触动的核心。
我给你早在你出生前多年的一个傍晚看到的一朵黄玫瑰的记忆 我给你关于你生命的诠释 关于你自己的理论 你的真实而惊人的存在
我给你我的寂寞 我的黑暗 我心的饥渴 我试图用困惑、危险、失败来打动你
Borges
I offer you lean streets, desperate sunsets, the moon of the jagged suburbs. I offer you the bitterness of a man who has looked long and long at the lonely moon.
I offer you my ancestors, my dead men, the ghosts that living men have honoured in marble: my father's father killed in the frontier of Buenos Aires, two bullets through his lungs, bearded and dead, wrapped by his soldiers in the hide of a cow; my mother's grandfather -just twentyfour heading a charge of three hundred men in Perú, now ghosts on vanished horses.
I offer you whatever insight my books may hold. whatever manliness or humour my life. I offer you the loyalty of a man who has never been loyal.
I offer you that kernel of myself that I have saved somehow the central heart that deals not in words, traffics not with dreams and is untouched by time, by joy, by adversities.
I offer you the memory of a yellow rose seen at sunset, years before you were born. I offer you explanationsof yourself, theories about yourself, authentic and surprising news of yourself.
I can give you my loneliness, my darkness, the hunger of my heart; I am trying to bribe you with uncertainty, with danger, with defeat.